Dark Beats and Enlightening Vibes with Mari Lee: Elevated Frequencies Episode #14

I am so excited to talk to you because I have been a TikTok fan of yours for quite some time.

MARI LEE: Thank you.

Olivia: Um, your TikToks bring me joy, but they also bring me trauma and PTSD. So props to you for being able to strike two very particular emotions at once.

MARI LEE: I'm happy they're resonating. That's sort of my goal with them, to resonate to people, be relatable.

Olivia: So obviously you have like a really intricate knowledge of this type of persona, which I want to get into how you decided to come up with these characters. But let's talk about them, you know, for people who don't know you on TikTok yet. You have these different characters where you're like that girl at the club at the table behind the booth that is just not so nice. How would you describe?

MARI LEE: Um, you know, it's kind of a joke, but also I have to see if I even changed my bio, but on Tik Tok, my bio used to just be social commentary. And, uh, I go out a lot in the nightlife scene. Um, I DJ and maybe I've actually been that girl sometimes. Um, but I think the older I get, the more you can, and once you are actually like the DJ behind the booth, the more you become privy to these. attitudes and behaviors and it's all in good fun, but it is kind of funny if you think about it. It's also something not everybody like talks about. So I thought it was relatable.

Olivia: I love that you just admitted that you've been that girl sometimes because I wasn't going to admit it unless you were. Because

MARI LEE: We've

Olivia: I

MARI LEE: all

Olivia: don't

MARI LEE: been that

Olivia: know.

MARI LEE: girl sometimes. Ha ha ha.

Olivia: We all have. But like you said, as you get older, you realize, okay, that's fucking dumb. We're all adults here. There's no reason to try to claim ownership over a table or a spot. but I love how you just, you get the vocal fry down, you get like the monotone, like uninterested, and it really, it is social commentary because you experience so much of that when you go out, which is like, and we'll talk about the music, but it's like the antithesis of what the music's supposed to be. It's supposed to bring us all together, but you always have that one girl, you know, who feels the need to act that way.

MARI LEE: Facts, facts, and it's interesting. You know, I feel like that used to just be more the vibe in like the very mainstream clubs, but as sort of house and techno are taking a forefront from underground to it's really becoming more mainstream, that community that used to be more underground is, and hey, we want things to be more mainstream, but it's definitely a little bit infiltrated by everyone. which is cool. I don't like gatekeeping, but I also grew up as like, you're a poser kind of vibe, which

Olivia: Yeah, right.

MARI LEE: I'm older now, but it's just interesting because now you're gonna see those kinds of attitudes in a lot of places that you didn't before.

Olivia: You're right. It's an infiltration and hopefully they learn as time goes on. It's not the place to do it because there is such a stratification between like normie clubs and then house and techno. But now we are seeing that crossover, I think thanks to TikTok, honestly. It's contributing factor.

MARI LEE: I think TikTok is such an important tool right now in social media for whatever you do. I mean, that's how we met and this is happening, right? How I've met a lot of people from TikTok, but if you're not utilizing it as an artist, as a business owner, I feel like you're really missing out. So yeah, TikTok as well as music, like it's made all these songs go viral and totally.

Olivia: Yeah. And I love, I love that you, in addition to obviously sharing your DJ videos, which, I mean, your taste in music is impeccable, I have to say. You, you use this character to supplement those videos. So it really just makes like your persona. It makes me want to follow you because I love your personality. And this is something that I have this conversation with other DJs. It's like, when you do that, when you show us different parts of yourself, it makes me want to go see your shows more.

MARI LEE: Exactly. I think there's quite a few people out there that are doing it really well. I want to give a shout out to chill. I don't know if you follow her actually know her IRL she makes the funniest videos. There's this kid of velo. And

Olivia: Yes.

MARI LEE: I mean, I think he's so funny too. But I think

Olivia: I interviewed

MARI LEE: like doing

Olivia: him at EDC. So funny.

MARI LEE: Oh, he's so funny. I don't know him IRL but we're tick tock friends. But yeah, it's like you can't just be like Hi, this is me. If I were just like, hi, this is Mari Lee. I mean, nobody really cares. So you have to build up your brand in other more strategic ways so that people will care. And I get to know you personally.

Olivia: I absolutely love it. And so now I want to talk about your music because that's obviously the biggest reason you're on this show. You are just killing it in New York, which is not an easy place. I mean, obviously there's a lot of opportunity. There's more clubs than say Idaho, but I mean, there's a lot of competition, but you're, and I'm not just saying this to gas you up, like you are so fantastic from the videos that I've seen. So how did that? come to life? Have you always loved this music? Where did you first discover your love for house

MARI LEE: Wow,

Olivia: and techno?

MARI LEE: thank you. 2012, 2013, so like 10 years ago, I started getting into like the nightlife scene. And this was more like when mainstream EDM was popular, like Avicii, Hardwell, those days. So I started out that way, dipped my toes in the electronic pool. And it was funny because at the time my roommate, her boyfriend was from Europe and he used to make fun of me. Like, this is like lame, like come to Berlin where I live. Three years later, I go to Berlin to visit her and the boyfriend who are now since married and have children. And yeah, that was a whole other vibe that kind of got me more into like actual techno and house music. And then, yeah.

Olivia: Were you just like blown away the first time you heard it? Because I know the first time, because I was the same, like I liked like Euro dance when I was in eighth grade, whatever. And then like the EDM became popular. I'm like, I don't like, I didn't like it back then. So I didn't really know. And I got reintroduced to house and tech. Now I was like, holy fuck, this is amazing. So did it just like blow you away the first time you heard it?

MARI LEE: not only hearing it, but the environment and the culture as well, which goes kind of back to the funny tic tocs I make which so we went out in Berlin. And at this time, I was yeah, I was like 2223. I had really only been to the like stereotypical bottle service nightclub like nightlife clubs where you wear a little dress and heels and you're the So my friends are like, no, you literally please wear like that big black oversized t-shirt you wear. And I was like, wait, I could wear like a band t-shirt, like what I wear in my real life every day. Like, I don't have to like try. They're like, no, please only wear black jeans. And like, don't talk to us in the line. Just be like, just like, be like this. And I was like, so going in, it was the culture. Like everyone was down to earth. Everyone was there for the music. And I just felt like the energy, like. this is cool. Like people are here for the music, not here for clout. And I fell in love with the whole community that way.

Olivia: Isn't it so amazing that you literally can wear your comfiest clothes? That was the game changer for me, too. Now, I will say I lived in Miami for a little bit and I don't think I could ever go back because I tell my husband, I'm like, I don't want to fucking wear heels again. Like out like that sounds miserable.

MARI LEE: That's funny. I'm actually going to Miami in like two weeks. I love Miami, but

Olivia: It there's certain places obviously you don't have to wear heels,

MARI LEE: sure,

Olivia: but a lot. But

MARI LEE: space.

Olivia: like still there's space. I think that might be the only place actually.

MARI LEE: But

Olivia: Yeah.

MARI LEE: yeah, that's kinda how I got into that. I grew up listening just to like metal core, emo, screamo, post-hardcore. That is what I still consider like my heart and soul and my bread and butter. So everything I do sort of has that influence in it. I've been working on and kind of releasing a few remixes to... Some things like that, I'm not gonna give everything away yet, but that's kind of like my heart and soul with music. So I try to like juxtapose the two vibes. That's really what Mari Lee is.

Olivia: I love that because that was really what I was into in high school as well. And I feel like there's a pretty strong pipeline of like punk and emo and metal music to techno. I think it just makes sense. Have you like your friends from your like metal, emo

MARI LEE: Mm.

Olivia: music days, like have you been able to transition them to techno? Have you introduced them to this side?

MARI LEE: Yes and no. It's interesting. There's a venue, I'm thinking of this specific venue that's in New York City, it's called the Brooklyn Monarch. And I'm actually playing there next month with Dirty South. But they only do either like hardcore shows or techno shows. There's like no in between.

Olivia: That's

MARI LEE: And

Olivia: awesome.

MARI LEE: it's like the perfect venue. I'm friends with all the people at work there, the manager. So like one of my friends who's in that kind of like emo screamo metal scene, she works there and Now that I hear and I'm here for these like techno shows because I'm just working as the bartender or whatever, now I'm into that. So it's cool to have venues that cross over with the two as well and book different acts.

Olivia: That's so cool, because I'm sure they get it. They're like, oh, this makes sense. It really has the same kind of vibe, just obviously in a much different application of,

MARI LEE: Mm-hmm.

Olivia: you know, the sounds and instruments, but I love that. And I do think that part, like the techno is still, well, I don't want to say the word tainted, but it's less, it's untouched compared to like house when we're talking about

MARI LEE: Sure.

Olivia: coming to the mainstream. I think that's like the next, like I make a joke and I'm like, I'm not gonna give specifics on the show cause I'd just be like completely like drowning myself here. But I say that there's like introductory house, like level one house music. And then there's levels, right? To like how people from the mainstream make their way in. And I feel like techno is still a little bit sacred.

MARI LEE: Of course, it's I mean, it's a bit overwhelming. It's not something my mom is going to listen to in the car.

Olivia: Right.

MARI LEE: But it has that same intensity, I guess you can say, as like Knocked to Lose. If you're familiar with them, they're like one of my favorite bands right now. But yeah, so I always strive for intensity. I love intensity. And I think that's why I go for it, even with my videos, like I just want to do something really intense and over the top and. Yeah.

Olivia: I love it. I love it. It's so on brand. So I have to ask, and I hate that this is not a question that I don't, I don't ask this to men, but you are beautiful. You are so talented. Does it intimidate men? You being into techno, being so knowledgeable about music, being so beautiful and having this access. Do you find as a, as a woman in the scene that you have struggles that maybe some others don't.

MARI LEE: Um, yes and no. I think deep down, intimidation is really a key factor. But unfortunately, sometimes it gets thrown in your face the other way, where I think people think, oh, you're a pretty girl, so you

Olivia: Mm-hmm.

MARI LEE: can do this and do this. There's advantages and disadvantages. I mean, I'm here to be myself, make my music. I think I market things the correct way. I do have a background in digital marketing. So there is so much work that goes into it that a lot of people don't see. I mean, I actually now, I've been promoting it a lot. Me and another female in the industry in the nightlife scene in New York have come together and made a duo. We're called Black Diamond. Her name is Zana. She definitely has more of like this like Afro house melodic vibe to her. But we had B2B'd at a party about a year ago. and sparks flew and we're like, we have to do this together as like this female power duo. So I think me and her together as well, even more and stuff.

Olivia: That's awesome. That's a cool juxtaposition of like the Afro house and the techno. And I want to like touch on the point that you said, it is really frustrating that if you are beautiful, it's like people will be so much quicker to discredit you. Oh, you got those opportunities because of the way you looked. And that's just simply not the case. I mean, I've known you only for a little bit and only virtually, but I can tell from seeing your videos, the love and, and passion you put into your sets. and the technical skill. I mean, it's so impressive and nobody should ever discredit you just because you're so beautiful.

MARI LEE: Well, first of all, thank you for the compliments. I, in my head, like I suffer with a bit of imposter syndrome and also grew up like a nerd. So I feel like sometimes I'm, I don't know, thank you. I'm sorry.

Olivia: Yes, yes. Imposter syndrome is so common, especially because you're like literally in front of so many people. Do you ever get that moment? Like I'll say when I was doing interviews at EDC, right? Like I had this moment, I was sitting there, I was like, who the fuck am I? Like how am I here right now? Like how did I get this opportunity? So I can imagine like sometimes it's like an out of body experience being in front of a large crowd and they're all vibing to what you're doing that it's like, it's pretty crazy.

MARI LEE: I'm very grateful and I'm very blessed and I am manifesting that it's only gonna get bigger from here and not to sound I Don't know but to be honest, I love it. I love being in front of the camera ever since I was a little kid I was a dancer gymnastics There's all these home movies of me like forcing my parents to sit down and videotape me doing like a Britney Spears dance routine So

Olivia: I

MARI LEE: I've

Olivia: love

MARI LEE: wanted

Olivia: it.

MARI LEE: to be in front of people since I was young and I'm definitely not shy Um, so I don't know. I used to get really nervous before I'd play at a big club, of course, but now it's kind of like second nature and, um, yeah, I don't know. I love performing.

Olivia: I love that you admit that and you're so real and authentic because you've earned it. And I feel that way too. I'm very similar. Like obviously I like being in front of the camera. I like presenting to people. I was a news reporter. I like people listening to what I have to say. And so I love hearing that from other women that you own it. Like you want to be in front of people. There's... This really like, of course, bringing it back to TikTok. There's this girl that I follow, I can't remember her name, but she talks about how people are afraid to be seen. And like, they should be celebrities, they should be out there, but they have this fear of being seen. And it's kind of what we're talking about, that you don't have that. Sure, like the imposter syndrome can creep in once in a while, but like the fact that you own your desire. to be seen, I feel like it's just gonna propel you that much faster, like fortune favors the bold, right?

MARI LEE: Exactly. And I love that quote. It's, you know, I think mental health and just anxiety goes into that as well. I actually suffer very bad from anxiety. For some reason for me, going out in front of people relieves that and just being more of an introvert doesn't. I'm the kind of person when I get nervous, I talk and talk and talk and don't shut up as opposed to getting quiet. And it's like There's so many people I know who are so talented, but their attitude towards it, and maybe it's an insecurity, maybe it's a shyness, is like, oh, but I would never make a TikTok. Yeah, I don't do that. Or like, oh, so-and-so sucks. How did they even get that gig? But I'm better than that. Maybe they are actually technically better than that, but they're just a bedroom DJ or a bedroom producer because they don't go out and make those media kits like... making a TikToks or, you know, trying to network with people. And that's so important in it as well. So having an outroverted personality and loving performing and not being shy is a huge quality. I think that has helped me.

Olivia: That is such a good point. And I think about that a lot because there are probably a ton of celebrities out there that the only reason why they got a shot over someone else is just because they're fucking bold and they

MARI LEE: Exactly.

Olivia: just go for it. So like, I tell that, I talk to people about that all the time, like why not? Like, so when I did the EDC gig, they

MARI LEE: Mm.

Olivia: weren't hiring anybody. I just put together an audition tape that was like a minute long. Hey, what's up? Like big fan, used to be a TV reporter. Here's why you guys should hire me. And I just sent it. I was like, why not? Like, what's the worst that could happen? And I got the gig. And so I feel like so many people just, you know, that like Michael Jordan slash Michael Scott quote, you miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't take or whatever, you know that meme I'm talking about? Like

MARI LEE: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Olivia: it's very true. Like, how do you know? You're not gonna know unless you try. And part of trying is putting yourself out there. and risking maybe being embarrassed.

MARI LEE: Definitely. I mean, even like we keep talking about my TikTok. And to be honest, like the last few months, I really haven't had a lot of videos that went viral. And the last week I had two because I started putting effort into it again. I kind of went through like a weird thing where I took a break from it. But you have to make a hundred videos before you find your niche and the algorithm picks up on it. And you have to reach out to so many different club promoters like... event teams, other producers, and ask for help and ask to be put on. And you're gonna get emails ignored, you're gonna get people kind of like, you're gonna, whatever. And

Olivia: Yep.

MARI LEE: you could either give up or not. And I think talking badly about people that are higher up than you is just gonna manifest negativity, where if I see somebody doing great, I'm like, wow, I wanna be them. And I wasn't always like that. You have to change your mindset and think positively. I'm like, I wanna be like them. They're killing it. I wanna be there. Not, oh, how did they get there? Like, da, da. Like, that's not the way to think because you're just putting that negative energy back into yourself.

Olivia: you're speaking my language. Like I, again, this is the same thing with the TikToks. I came from a place of scarcity, you know, a couple of years ago, oh, why is this girl getting this opportunity? Like when I was a news reporter and I saw girls getting, women getting jobs at better stations, oh, why did she get this? I should get this, why? And now I look at other like creators, like there's this one I have to shout her out. Her name is Emma Kapotes, I think, how

MARI LEE: Yes,

Olivia: you say her last name?

MARI LEE: I follow. Yeah, we follow each other as well. I know

Olivia: Angel.

MARI LEE: her.

Olivia: Angel of a human. So I just had a call with her, like a coaching call, to find out how she built her brand. The old me, I'm talking five years ago when I was in that scarcity mindset would have been like, oh, why does she have a platform

MARI LEE: Mm-hmm.

Olivia: and blah, blah. And nothing against her because she's fantastic, but that would have been my own insecurity projected. Now I'm like, I want to learn from this amazing woman because look at this community she's cultivated. Like I always, whether it's a woman's looks or what they're doing, I always think how can I be like that? I adore their, you know, I appreciate their shine and their light and I want some of it. There's room for everybody, not they have it and I don't so I should, you know, hate them. It's so fucking true.

MARI LEE: 100% and I think usually if you reach out to someone or even I've had people reach out to me, I'm honored I'm like me Wow That's how those people are too No matter how high up or how big you are in the industry most people will still be flattered And I feel like if they're not and they do kind of throw you some shade or act like they don't care Then they're probably not someone you want as a mentor or someone to help you out anyway, and it all happened You know good that they ignored you, you know, it was meant to

Olivia: Right.

MARI LEE: be that they ignored you So.

Olivia: And like you said, I think 99% of the people, especially in the scene, are so open and are so kind. I will say, like, so you were talking about bullying, or like being a nerd in the past,

MARI LEE: Thank you.

Olivia: I was bullied so bad in high school and middle school, like, relentlessly, right? And so I still carry some like limiting beliefs. When I go out in public, I've had like, you know, I've been in this industry for a while in my own way and like on the media side. But I still get like nervous sometimes when I approach people. I'm like, oh, are they going to be rude? Are they going to be like annoyed that I'm trying to talk to them? And I will say a couple of times, there's been some people who have been extremely rude. And I had to learn and realize that's them. That's their personality trait that they have to work on. It has nothing to do with me. I was kind. I was respectful. And so it's something again, if you're like, trying to be a star, you're trying to make something of yourself, you have to learn how to deal with that negative energy and put up a protective barrier and not let it stop you from still pursuing what you want.

MARI LEE: Exactly. It's for everyone, I'm sure. But definitely for me, you know, it's a work in progress. Everyone works on their confidence every day. And everyone goes into, at least for me, like intimidating situations, especially in New York City, not discrediting any other city, but it's cutthroat here. And people don't want to talk to you. People don't want to put up with anything. So, you know, you're, it's intimidating to go into the a lot of these situations and you just got to keep going or else give up and I don't want to give up.

Olivia: Yeah, yeah. Well, no, you definitely shouldn't. And that's, again, that's what I love about just talking to you when I reached out to you via DM, like

MARI LEE: Mm-hmm.

Olivia: I forgot what we were even talking about, but you're so sweet. And it is really like, you kind of have to test and see like, is this person going to be receptive? And it is cutthroat because in New York, there are a lot of people who want those opportunities. But at the end of the day, I think two things is what takes you to the top, obviously talent, but then your ability to be a kind positive person that radiates that like abundant energy because you can make it to the top being a shithead, but it's not Sustainable like at the end of the day people are people are gonna know and see through it

MARI LEE: Exactly, exactly. Karma, law of attraction, whatever you wanna call it comes around. And I also, I don't know, I have guilt if I'm mean to people. I think it goes back to this religious upbringing, Catholic guilt, they call it, but I have

Olivia: Yeah.

MARI LEE: to just be nice to people. I mean, I've probably been rude sometimes, but I think that's why I'm. sarcastic in my TikTok videos. Like I said, I've been that girl, especially in my early twenties. But when you look at it from that point of view, it's funny. And I think there are also people that get, and I used to too, intimidated by those kinds of girls. Wow, they're so pretty. Look at, oh, I wish I... Actually, they're very insecure losers because that's why they act like that. And that's what I'm trying to show too. So

Olivia: Yeah.

MARI LEE: I don't know.

Olivia: Yeah, no, it's spot on. I've never met a person who's like happy with themselves, who acts that way. You know what I mean? Like, you know it's like an internal problem because the insides match the outsides and then, and you just, you pray for them and wish them well, right?

MARI LEE: I mean, I'm at a phase in my life right now, and it sounds like we're very similar, Olivia, but you know, you gotta just focus on you. Work towards your dreams, go what you're going for, and cut out negativity from your life. That's only gonna affect you positively. It's gonna affect your career, whatever you want that to be, your relationships with friends, family, loved ones, whatever, and yeah. Go to therapy, exercise.

Olivia: Yes.

MARI LEE: whatever you wanna do. I'm really into boxing, that's my thing. So,

Olivia: Oh, that's on brand for you.

MARI LEE: yeah, I love boxing. I did not go today, cause I wanted to sleep in and prepare for this. And I have a gig right after this. I'm DJing like a pool party thing they have with Black Diamond. So,

Olivia: have fun.

MARI LEE: yeah.

Olivia: And you have a day job too. So you're just like, you're just

MARI LEE: Hmm.

Olivia: always hustling.

MARI LEE: Yeah, it's been like overwhelming in a good way. I feel like especially the past maybe three months since I got myself in a better mental health space with working out with, you know, meditating. Anyway, like so many good things have been happening to me like doing this podcast. I've been working on music, we have a couple sounds songs we're about to release Black Diamond. Just like getting more gigs, getting, everything has been good. And I do love my day job as well, but it's a lot to handle. And I'm at a point where I need to financially support myself with my day job too. So it's a lot, but you

Olivia: It

MARI LEE: gotta.

Olivia: is, but you're handling it beautifully. And like you said, the law of attraction, you keep putting out that positive energy. It's all going to come back to you. And I think stuff works itself out naturally. The pieces start fitting together, and you'll learn when the right point is to, going full time with the music is what you want to do. You'll know. Your body and your mind will tell you, now is the time to make the jump.

MARI LEE: Exactly, exactly. You have to be a little bit delusional to be successful, I've heard people say, and

Olivia: Yes.

MARI LEE: I like that quote. So I have to be a bit of a realist and pay my bills, but you have to be a little bit delusional to know that day will end.

Olivia: Yes, there's a healthy balance and I 100% believe in being delusional as well. But yes, pay your bills too, obviously.

MARI LEE: Yeah.

Olivia: So tell me before we wrap up, tell me what like any exciting gigs, you know, this for the next couple months that you have going on, what are you super excited about?

MARI LEE: Yeah, so the biggest thing, are you familiar with Elements Festival? It's a big

Olivia: Yes.

MARI LEE: festival. It's in Pennsylvania. The headliners this year are John Summit, Gorgon City, Chris Lake, Skrillex. Like it's huge. It's a three day

Olivia: Amazing.

MARI LEE: festival. I guess it's like an East Coast EDC. I don't know. But

Olivia: Okay.

MARI LEE: Black Diamonds, which again is my side project, is booked. So we will be on the lineup. We're going to be on the air stage, which. I guess I didn't really say this. So I, as my personal brand, Mari Lee, does a lot of techno house rock kind of stuff. And my partner Zana on her own wavelength does like an Afro house. Our Black Diamond project is like melodic techno. So it kind of blends the two

Olivia: off

MARI LEE: together.

Olivia: amazing.

MARI LEE: Yeah, so we're gonna be playing at the air stage, which is like Eli and Fur, Elderbrook. So yeah, we're really excited. That's the biggest thing. We're gonna play with Dirty South. um in the end of August. This weekend I'm at Marquee which is like you know a huge Tao group club. So a lot of good gigs coming up, planning to release some original productions later this year that we are working on and keep trying to make TikToks that go viral.

Olivia: Yay. I love it. Well, this has been so much fun. Thank you for joining me. It's such a pleasure to virtually meet you and hopefully I'm going to see you in a couple days.